I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
