yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize