More tranny stories later!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
