Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
