Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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