i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
where are my eyebrows?
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