East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
