i love accidental penises.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
