I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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