This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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