Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize