HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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