What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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