Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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