508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
