I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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