Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
nutella sex= disaster
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize