Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
