we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
don't judge my taste in strippers
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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