this beer tastes like vomit already
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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