This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
