Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
