Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
