Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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