and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
