Three words: puerto rican gang bang
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
