so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
