I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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