In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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