Please, let me fuck your mom
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize