ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
