I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
