Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
