erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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