farters have to be the big spoon...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
