Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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