The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
