In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Randomize
