I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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