school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
