I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
