thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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