writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
