WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize