Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
