remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
