I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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