Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
