Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
