you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
