it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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