i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
