I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
