you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
