It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
