It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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