No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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