we have officially lost it.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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