Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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