we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
