ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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