tell your sister to shave her snatch
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize