then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize