low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
