Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize