The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
