In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
