I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
