he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize