She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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